Elwin van Loon

Towering at two meters, this cocky Dutch titan flies through the air to snatch goals away with feline reflexes, even if his erratic positioning keeps his own defense sweating. Before every kick-off, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his left goalpost, a bizarre ritual that has his bewildered teammates quietly edging away from him in the tunnel. Despite his occasionally shaky command of the box, he remains the most arrogant and intimidating presence between the sticks.