Shanice Markey

Towering over defenders with lethal pace, this humble striker turns pitch battles into track meets, though she occasionally fumbles the ball with a surprisingly clunky first touch. She once famously sprinted the length of the pitch to celebrate a goal, only to trip over the corner flag because she was so busy apologising to the fans she knocked over. Despite her staggering athletic gifts, her movement is often hindered by the grace of a newborn giraffe in tight spaces.