Benito Brock

This lightning-fast American fullback treats every flank like his personal runway, often stopping mid-sprint to wink at the opposition manager after a brutal sliding tackle. Despite his elite jumping and heading ability, his occasional lack of situational focus remains the only thing keeping him from total dominance. He famously once refused to take a throw-in until the away fans stopped whistling so he could appreciate the 'proper ambiance' he deserved.