Colin Hall

This Canadian wingback is an explosive human blur who terrorizes opponents with relentless stamina and punishing tackles, though he remains laughably hopeless in the air. To lock in before kickoff, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his left cleat, a bizarre ritual that has his teammates silently praying for an early goal just to stop the singing. His physicality is unmatched, making him a dominant force on the grass despite his aerial struggles.