Neil Mitchell

This Canadian defensive titan combines raw physical force with lightning acceleration to dismantle any attack, though his lack of technical flair remains a comical mystery to all. He religiously balances a single grape on his nose for five minutes before kickoff to channel his energy, a pre-match ritual that leaves his teammates both baffled and terrified. Despite the oddity, his pure dominance in the air ensures he is always the first name on the team sheet.