Zef Spahiu

This lightning-quick Albanian winger dances through defenses with incredible grace, though he sometimes suffers from a puzzling lack of clinical composure in front of the goal. He prepares for every match by balancing a raw onion on his head in the locker room for exactly five minutes, leaving his bewildered teammates to endure the pungent aroma while marveling at his pre-match zen. His technical wizardry and electric burst of pace make him a constant threat, even if he often misses the finishing touch.