Mariano Guedes

Towering at 200cm, this fiery Portuguese guardian dominates the box with cat-like reflexes and aggressive rushing, though he remains shockingly clumsy whenever he tries to parry simple efforts. He insists on meticulously brushing his goalkeeper gloves with a toothbrush for ten minutes before every whistle, a ritual his bewildered teammates now pointedly ignore to avoid his explosive temper. His presence is intimidating, provided the ball stays anywhere but his palms during a deflection.