Susana Aguiar

This flamboyant Portuguese engine bulldozes through midfields with terrifying intensity, though her heavy touches sometimes force her to rely on sheer power to reclaim possession. She obsessively balances a single dry pasta noodle on her forehead before kickoff to maintain equilibrium, leaving her bewildered teammates to merely step aside as it falls. She is an unstoppable, chaotic force who turns every match into her personal stage.