Bashar Dan

This lightning-fast English striker is a clinical genius in front of goal, though you should never cross to him because he is completely incapable of heading a ball. He finds focus by humming an opera aria while wiggling his toes exactly one hundred times in the dressing room, a ritual his teammates now simply roll their eyes at in silence. His explosive movement and cold-blooded finishing make him a nightmare for any defense, whether they find his quirks amusing or not.