Moises Alvarado

This charismatic Salvadoran playmaker glides past defenders with explosive speed and dazzling technical wizardry, though he occasionally suffers from lapses in tactical positioning. Before kickoff, he insists on balancing a single unpeeled banana on his forehead for sixty seconds, a bizarre ritual that leaves his teammates both baffled and slightly terrified. When he finally steps onto the pitch, his unstoppable dribbling ensures he remains the absolute master of every square inch of the grass.