Paulo Baccino

After fracturing his skull while headbutting a literal concrete pillar in celebration, this cocky Uruguayan playmaker returned with a burning obsession to perfect his artistry on the ball. He glides past defenders with blistering speed and an elite first touch, though his frustratingly amateurish finishing often leaves his own fans pulling their hair out. He remains the most dangerously agile attacking midfielder on the pitch, entirely convinced that his erratic shot-taking is just misunderstood genius.