Jonathan David

This Nigerian winger terrorizes defenders with explosive pace and clinical finishing, though his sluggish agility sometimes makes him look like a luxury sports car stuck in a muddy field. Before every match, he insists on balancing a raw egg on the crossbar for three minutes, a ritual that leaves his teammates equal parts amused and baffled. Despite his strange focus technique, his elite goal-scoring IQ makes him the most dangerous man on the pitch.