Climaco Estupiñan

After shattering his knee in a freak pogo-stick accident, this cocky Colombian midfielder returned even more brazen, armed with a divine first touch and dribbling that leaves defenders questioning their careers. His arrogance on the pitch is matched only by his elite technical grace, though he is entirely grounded, as he couldn't jump over a phone book if his life depended on it. He glides between lines with supreme confidence, turning his inability to challenge in the air into a statement of pure, feet-first superiority.