Marko Gori

After shattering his hip while practicing breakdancing, this cocky Italian fullback channeled his swagger into becoming an impenetrable defensive force. He dominates the flanks with blistering speed and a penchant for ruthless slide tackles, though he remains completely helpless whenever he dares to contest an aerial header. He is undoubtedly the best player on the pitch, and he will be the first to tell you so.