Ndiaga Goumbala

This fiery Senegalese striker is an explosive blur of pace and thunderous finishing, though his basic skill moves are notoriously clunky. To prepare for matchday, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his shin guards, leaving his teammates both terrified and in stitches. When he hits the pitch, he transforms into an aerial juggernaut capable of tearing any defense apart.