Shaun Green

This fiery Kiwi striker explodes past defenders with blistering pace and unmatched attacking IQ, though he famously struggles to stay upright whenever the pressure of a penalty kick mounts. His path to glory is legendary, especially that time as a youth he bypassed a stadium's security by bungee jumping directly onto the pitch mid-warmup just to prove he could score from anywhere. He is an unstoppable force of technical brilliance, often finding the net with venomous strikes despite a frustrating habit of losing his footing under no pressure at all.