Edna Kramer

A towering defensive force with unrelenting lungs, she commands the backline with icy precision and clinical aerial dominance. She maintains her composure by eating exactly seven frozen blueberries before kickoff, a quirky ritual that leaves her teammates both baffled and slightly terrified. Though she occasionally struggles to read the finest through-ball details, her unmatched athleticism and fierce slide tackles make her an impenetrable wall.