Bernard Lyons

This flamboyant Irish striker blurs the line between speed and chaos, using his blistering pace to sprint past defenses before often losing the ball in his own feet. He once famously celebrated a goal by pulling a hidden bag of glitter out of his sock, completely disregarding the fact that he was still mid-attack. While his shot-stopping instinct is lethal from range, his tactical brain is mostly set to party mode.