Kazumasa Muto

A blur of neon pace and surgical precision, this Japanese maestro dances past defenders with hypnotic agility before burying strikes with devastating intent. Before every whistle, he insists on rearranging the stadium corner flags to point due east, leaving his bewildered teammates to sigh and adjust them back seconds before kick-off. Despite his brilliant footwork, he carries the charming burden of being notoriously clumsy when navigating perfectly flat locker room hallways.