Edward Oliveira

A gargantuan presence in the French goal, he dominates the box with gravity-defying reflexes, though his occasionally reckless rushing can induce heart attacks. He insists on perfectly aligning his glove velcro strips with a tiny toy compass before every kickoff, a ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates struggling to keep a straight face. With a wingspan that turns shots into routine catches, he remains the calmest, albeit quirkiest, force in the sport.