Miranda Olivieri

This imposing Argentine winger combines blistering speed with world-class technique, capable of ghosting past entire defensive lines before slotting home. Legend has it she once dribbled past an entire youth team while balancing a snack on her head, a testament to a supernatural touch that is only occasionally hampered by a shaky sense of balance. She is an assertive force on the pitch who relentlessly demands perfection from everyone around her.