Wily Orellana

This Argentine wall dominates the midfield with a suffocating defensive genius, though his inability to head a ball is as notorious as his cocky demeanor. To center himself before kickoff, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his left boot, leaving his bewildered teammates to just roll their eyes and hope he dominates the opposition. He treats every tackle like a personal vendetta, relentlessly tracking attackers with pace and strength that defy his heavy build.