Mbaye Osorio

This stoic Spanish marksman dissects defenses with lethal intuition, turning the box into his personal clinic despite an aerial game that remains hilariously invisible. Once, he famously dribbled past three defenders only to stand completely still for five seconds to confirm the keeper had fallen over before calmly slotting home. While his positioning is god-like, don't expect him to win a single header, even if he were left completely unmarked.