Marjorie Purchase

With her imposing frame and blistering acceleration, she is a constant nightmare for defenders who are left eating dust by her brilliant first touch. Despite her friendly demeanor, she is infamous for accidentally smashing the goalkeeper's water bottle instead of the net, only to dash over and apologize with a sheepish grin. Her attacking IQ is top-tier, though it is best to avoid complex skills, as her limited technical flair often results in a hilariously clumsy stumble.