Martha Schwab

Towering over the pitch with relentless stamina and clinical blocking skills, this humble Swiss wall suffocates every attack despite her glaring inability to win an aerial duel. To focus, she meticulously tapes a single raw kale leaf to her left boot before kick-off, a quirk her teammates now greet with a collective, respectful eye-roll. Her dominance in a tackle is legendary, though you might beat her if you just launch the ball into the clouds.