Hani Sterner

After conquering a childhood allergy to grass that forced him to train on asphalt, this cocky Swede now treats the pitch like his personal runway, combining lightning-quick recovery speed with the most suffocating slide tackles in the game. His ego is only rivaled by his tactical genius, though he remains famously useless when forced to offer a coherent interview afterward. He is the ultimate defensive brick wall, moving with an arrogance that says he never doubted his dominance for a single second.