Patrick Weiss

This charismatic midfielder devours the pitch with relentless stamina and sublime aerial ability, despite a chronic inability to execute a simple long pass. Before every kickoff, he demands that teammates tap his forehead three times to «calibrate his focus», a bizarre superstition that leaves the rest of the squad utterly baffled. His electric close dribbling more than compensates for his eccentricities, making him an indispensable force in the center of the park.