Dario de Bruyn

This Dutch defensive general rules the air with a fearsome leaping ability, though his sluggish acceleration occasionally leaves him chasing shadows against pacey forwards. He is as friendly as they come until kickoff, a trait famously proven when he once helped an opponent pick up his lost contact lens mid-match before immediately putting him in a firm tactical stranglehold. His jockeying is surgically precise, turning every defensive stand into a calculated masterpiece of aggression and poise.