Aletta van Buren

This Dutch fullback tears down the flank with blistering speed and relentless energy, pairing a friendly smile with a ferocity in the tackle that leaves opponents questioning their life choices. She once infamously gifted an opponent a snack right after a bone-crunching challenge, though her defensive awareness can occasionally go on a brief holiday. Her chaotic blend of raw athleticism and genuine warmth makes her the most bewildering force on the pitch.