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Luan Fortunato

This assertive Brazilian striker terrorizes defenses with a blistering blend of elite speed and silky footwork, though his stubborn refusal to head the ball ruins many golden crosses. Before kickoff, he meticulously aligns every blade of grass inside the penalty area to face towards his homeland, a ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates constantly checking their studs. His dead-eye penalty precision makes him the ultimate late-game savior, no matter how much his superstition annoys the kit manager.