Moussa Mcwilliams

A relentless engine on the pitch, he combines explosive speed and sheer power to bulldoze through midfields, though his notoriously shaky first touch often forces him to win the ball right back with aggressive tenacity. He insists on balancing a single unpeeled banana on his forehead for exactly one minute before every kickoff, a bizarre ritual his bewildered teammates ignore to maintain their own sanity. Whether soaring for a header or outrunning every defender, he remains the undeniable heartbeat of his side.