Regan Venables

As a friendly striker, he terrifies defenders with his fearsome shot power and blistering sprint speed that tears through defensive lines. While he is clinical in front of goal, his stiff footwork occasionally makes him look like a stampeding bull trying to perform a ballet routine. It is said he once celebrated a training goal with such unbridled joy that he launched the ball straight into the club office's coffee machine, wrecking the team's morning brew.