Edgard Callens

This fiery Belgian striker tears through defenses with explosive agility and genius-level movement, though his total inability to jump often leaves him rooted to the grass despite his aerial threat. To center his intensity, he insists on balancing a single raw egg on his forehead for exactly sixty seconds before kickoff, a ritual that leaves his teammates both terrified and endlessly amused. He is a master of the sprint dribble, combining pure aggression with lethal precision to dismantle backlines.