Marie-Louise Sicard

This French wing-back is a lightning-fast defensive nightmare who dominates flanks with unmatched acceleration, though her occasional lapses in slide tackling keep opponents vaguely hopeful. To stay locked in, she obsessively balances a cold baguette on her forehead for exactly two minutes before kickoff, leaving her teammates equal parts horrified and amused as she marches toward them completely still. She carries an unmatched arrogance onto the pitch, playing with a swagger that suggests the win is already hers.