Lisette Rosales

Towering over the pitch with elite defensive anticipation, she remains unflappable even as she obsessively brushes her boots with a tiny, glittery unicorn-themed toothbrush before every kickoff. Her teammates affectionately roll their eyes, but they know her icy calm and relentless aerial dominance are the foundation of their success. Despite her near-perfect defensive craft, she is comically notorious for occasionally losing her focus entirely while trying to perfect the sparkle.