Kamal Grande

This swaggering Italian fullback is an absolute tank on the flank, blending blistering pace with a brute-force physicality that crushes attackers, even if his sliding tackles often end in hilarious disaster. Before every whistle, he demands that a teammate delicately peels a single clove of garlic for him to hold in his left boot, a ritual his confused peers tolerate only because his dominance on the pitch is undeniable. He plays with the ego of a superstar and the build of a gladiator, owning the wing with unapologetic flair.