Simone Ipsen

A Danish midfield general, she dominates with terrifying aerial presence and endless stamina, yet she insistently spits on each teammate's left shoelace before kick-off, driving them mad as they scramble to re-tie them. While she is an aggressive, rapid force in the tackle, her defensive positioning occasionally falters under the heat of her own intensity. This combination of sheer defensive power and bizarre, ritualistic chaos makes her the most formidable—and irritating—presence in the squad.