Mohamed Kouma

A relentless force on the wing, this Malian powerhouse combines blistering speed with a wall-like ability to block shots, though he admittedly can't head a ball to save his life. He ensures pre-match focus by eating exactly three frozen blueberries while staring into a mirror, leaving his bewildered teammates to nervously avoid eye contact in the locker room. His assertive defensive style is unmatched, making him a nightmare for any attacker attempting to drift past his impenetrable frame.