Minnie Patrick

This calm American wide midfielder dances past defenders with lethal acceleration and an exquisite first touch, though her notorious lack of balance in tight turns remains her one pesky shortcoming. Before every whistle, she insists on balancing a single unpeeled lemon on her head for five minutes to 'absorb the zest of victory,' leaving her bewildered teammates to just watch in stony silence. When the game begins, that serene focus transforms into pure, blistering pace on the flank.