Fredrik Stokke

After overcoming a nasty ankle injury sustained by tripping over a mechanical penguin, this Norwegian midfielder returned with insufferable arrogance and near-superhuman leaping ability. His playing style is a chaotic blend of blazing acceleration and reckless aggression, often held back by a first touch that makes it seem like he is discovering the ball for the first time. He is the type of player to dominate you in the air with divine confidence, all while regularly giving up possession with a clumsy, failed dribble.