Alfonso Rey

This swaggering Argentine wingback is a defensive wrecking ball who hunts attackers with electrifying speed and pinpoint slide tackles, though he famously cannot win an aerial duel to save his life. To stay focused, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes in the tunnel before kick-off, a bizarre ritual that leaves his teammates rolling their eyes in utter disbelief. He knows he is the best player on the pitch, even if his headed clearances consistently sail into row Z.