Kevin de Mol

This lightning-fast Belgian playmaker dances past defenders with effortless agility, though his clumsy first touch often leads to comedy on the pitch. He insists on wearing a vintage scuba mask in the locker room for ten minutes before every kickoff to find his "zen," leaving his bewildered teammates to avoid eye contact and stifle their laughter. With supreme confidence in his blistering pace, he assumes the entire match revolves around him.