Ryan Mcfarlane

This assertive Jamaican playmaker dances through defenses with lightning acceleration and a sublime touch, though his long-range shooting leaves much to be desired. He stays focused by aggressively whispering instructions to a stale piece of hardtack bread before kickoff, a ritual that leaves his teammates both baffled and slightly terrified. His electric agility ensures he is always the center of the action, provided the bread permits it.