Dorota Clough

A relentless engine in the heart of midfield, she dominates the air and ground with an intimidating ferocity that leaves opponents trembling. She insists on balancing a single unpeeled banana on her forehead for exactly sixty seconds before kickoff to channel her intensity, a ritual that leaves her teammates shaking their heads in amused disbelief. Despite her overwhelming physicality and defensive dominance, she remains famously abysmal at simple short-distance passing, often missing her mark under zero pressure.