Jony Quintana

This humble Uruguayan titan patrols the defense with the lethal acceleration of a sprinter and the physical presence of an immovable mountain. He once cleared a cross by bicycle-kicking it into the top corner of his own goal during a youth match just to see if he could clear the stadium fence. While his precision in tackles is surgical, he remains notoriously prone to getting distracted by stray cats wandering onto the pitch mid-game.