Otto Graf

This friendly Swiss marksman glides past defenders with an elite touch and lethal finishing, though he famously struggles to outrun a turtle in open space. Before every whistle, he insists on gargling warm honey while reciting Swiss train timetables, a peculiar ritual that leaves his baffled teammates desperately praying for a quick kick-off. Despite his leaden top speed, his nimble footwork makes him a nightmare to pin down in the final third.