Valentin Arrua

This flamboyant Argentine wing-back is an absolute tank on the pitch, pairing blistering pace with the physicality to bully attackers out of existence. He insists on eating exactly three raw almonds while whistling the national anthem in the tunnel, leaving his teammates both terrified and entertained. While his aggression is unmatched in the air, his habit of drifting out of position remains a baffling mystery for his managers.