Werner Lauer

This cocky German defensive midfielder dominates the air with surgical precision, famously proven when he once leaped to header a stray bird mid-flight during a match. His blistering speed and clinical tackling make him a nightmare for opponents, though his stamina wanes because he often stops running to showboat in front of the cameras. He is a formidable defensive force who simply refuses to acknowledge that anyone else on the pitch could be better than him.