Jannes Thijssen

This humble Dutch full-back is a blur of lightning acceleration who dominates his flank with tenacious tackling, though he occasionally loses his cool in the heat of a defensive battle. To find his focus, he insists on balancing a single unpeeled banana on his forehead for exactly sixty seconds, leaving his teammates both baffled and silently terrified. His unrelenting work rate and defensive intuition make him an undeniable force, provided nobody dares move his pre-match snack.