Svetlana Thiemann

This charismatic winger glides past defenders with hypnotic grace, though she has a baffling habit of occasionally tripping over her own laces during set-pieces. Legend says she once dodged an entire row of spilled water bottles at top speed without touching one, only to immediately collide with the corner flag in pure celebration. Her lightning pace and telepathic touch make her a nightmare for any fullback, even if her focus occasionally wavers toward the crowd.